What Should You Do If Your Husband Is An Alcoholic?

If your husband is an alcoholic, it reflects on your family and by extension your family too suffers from alcoholism. Often called a “family disease”, if your husband is an alcoholic, it tends to spill into your own life and you ‘get in the way of your own happiness’. In spite of being totally sober, there are times when you feel like you’re the one who needs help. Well, you aren’t wrong. You need as much help dealing with this situation as your husband, getting out of it. There is no mandated rule of thumb that can ease the pain and damage alcoholism brings to the family. 3 options however, lie in front of you in such a situation. You can either, leave, stay and suffer or get some help at least for yourself and the children.

There will be a point in time when his behavior will get a little too much to handle and it will push you to the edge. While your loyalty to your spouse, to stand by him through this, is commendable, you are allowed to be a little selfish and think of yourself and more importantly, your children. Obviously, the first thought when your husband becomes an alcoholic shouldn’t be to leave him but as the condition becomes serious and he shows no signs of improving, there is no reason for you to stay on. Don’t wait for him to get violent and start hitting you or the kids.

Sadly however, many spouses choose to stay on and suffer in silence as the atrocities keep on flowing their way. Physical manifestations of alcohol abuse isn’t the only negative impact here, there is so much emotional baggage involved in dealing and living with an alcoholic that no matter how you try to separate it from your live, if you continue to stay on and do nothing, it will morph into one terrible nightmare that you can’t wake up from. Confronting him and getting him to understand rarely results in a positive outcome.

You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone. There are support groups for spouses of alcoholics; one is particular, called Al-Anon. At Al-Anon, you’ll get to know other people who are going through what you are and this might give you the strength to deal with it. Al-anon follows the same steps as AA, showing family members how to change their thinking; to mind your own business and separate your own life and happiness from being dependent on his sobriety. You’ll find the support you need here and who know you could provide support to someone else as well. This could culminate into your husband getting the necessary help to stop him consuming alcohol.

Whatever course of action you plan to take, just don’t stay in denial. For the sake of your sanity, do something to help yourself, if nobody else. Especially if you have children, do it for them if no one else!

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Sagar is co-founder and CTO at Multia, a leading creative agency in Pune. He started his venture when he was 16, he has won numerous international and national web development competitions and has worked on 100+ web, mobile and online marketing projects. He’s a globe-trotter and has traveled to San Francisco, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, Dubai, Jakarta and Bali Islands.

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